Finding Yourself

Coming Back from the Pandemic 

From a CNMA client:

I began experiencing heart palpitations.  And not just every now and then, but for most of the day, for a few days in a row.

Even though I had been tested numerous times in the past for this (with normal results), I had never had so many for so long.  I didn’t know what to do.

Was it serious?  Should I get tested again?  What can I do to calm my nerves?  These thoughts consumed me day in and day out.  I felt like I was going crazy.

It wasn’t until I saw Dr. Graves that things got better.

His analysis?
I had energy stuck in the area of my heart from a year of change, grief, and an overall loss of myself.

How did this happen and why did it manifest itself with palpitations?

Let’s take a step back…
A little over a year ago, our world was thrown into chaos with the arrival of COVID-19 and life turned upside down.  I couldn’t go about my daily life as usual, we were home all the time, and I became a school teacher in addition to my regular job.

For the first few months, it was still so new that I went through my day just trying to survive, still in shock of it all.  I compartmentalized what was happening so I could finish my job responsibilities and still feed the kids.

However after time, not processing what was going on ultimately led to anxiety, depression, and those darn palpitations.
Once fall hit, I was faced with more remote schooling with up to 13 Zoom calls a day to keep track of, kids that were having challenges and disinterest learning via a computer, a job that still had to be done, the loss of a volunteer job that I loved, the upcoming holidays, and the typical yearly grief that arises from loved ones lost.

And yet…I still didn’t take time to process it all.
I just kept going.  And going.  And going.

Slowly, I started to break.
I felt that I wasn’t a good parent because my kids were struggling, that I was alone in dealing with everything, and that I just wasn’t strong enough to do it all.  I felt pretty low and could have cried my eyes out most days.

My heart hurt emotionally and soon, it would start to affect me physically.
The new year brought on hope that things would change overnight, even though I knew they wouldn’t.  But still, I held on to the thought.

It wasn’t until a few weeks later when the palpitations came on that I knew it was time to seek support.

This is when I sat down with Dr. Graves and finally let it all out.  Before I knew it, I was leaning in to my feelings and crying – harder than I had in a long time.

I just couldn’t hold on to it any longer.  I was at rock bottom and knew it.

Thank goodness he was there to help.

Compassion paired with an intrinsic knowledge of how to physically treat the body through acupuncture, Dr. Graves had me feeling better within an hour.  My palpitations stopped immediately and the weight I had been carrying seem to life (if only for that first hour).

Over the next few weeks though, I scheduled follow up appointments to continue to move the energy through my body.  Not only did my palpitations go away completely, but my mind was beginning to clear and open as well.

When this happened, it occurred to me that over this past year, I lost myself.
I was at the mercy of the school, my job, and my family, with little time or outlets to take care of myself (gone were the days of quiet in the house to think).  I didn’t know who I was anymore because most of my days were only for other people and I was beginning to resent it.

I realized I needed to make space and time in my life to get myself back.

Through taking an inventory of my emotional, physical, and spiritual health with such questions as:

– am I sleeping well? 

            – am I eating 2-3 well-balanced meals a day? 

            – am I connecting with others in a meaningful way? 

            – do I have motivation? 

            – do I feel purpose in my life right now? 

            – am I doing anything I enjoy?

opened my eyes to areas I should focus on.

I started therapy sessions for my mental health, continued to have acupuncture for my physical health, and began volunteering in my spiritual organization for my spiritual health. 

Now, I am in a better place than I have been in years.  I can look back and be grateful for the struggle because it encouraged me to grow stronger, become wiser, and allow for more joy in my life.

If you live in Castle Rock, Castle Pines, Lone Tree, Highlands Ranch, Centennial, Parker, Larkspur, Monument, Colorado Springs, or the greater Denver metro area and feel like you have lost yourself over the past year, too, I recommend contacting the CNMA office at (303) 688-6698 or scheduling a free 15 minute phone consultation with Dr. Graves.

I’ve realized my health is more than just the sum of it’s parts.  Feeling good and being true to myself involves a look into my emotional, physical, and spiritual health – and taking care of them all with love and kindness.

A huge thank you to Dr. Graves who helped me see this.

If you are experiencing heart palpitations or other serious health-related issues, seek medical attention immediately.