Have you had a change in a relationship this past year
due to the pandemic and/or political atmosphere?
It’s no doubt an issue for many.
Sure, we could blame politics, the news, the virus, etc., but the real issue may be with how we personally deal with conflict.
Conflict happens in all relationships, but when were we ever taught how to handle it? Was it from watching our parents? Seeing it on television? Or do we avoid it altogether?
In today’s world, it’s vital that we address conflict in loving and kind ways – for others and for ourselves.
Following, Dr. Graves shares three ways that can be healthy and effective in order to strengthen relationships rather than tear them apart.
1. Choose Understanding Over Winning.
Our culture loves to win. That’s what many believe is success and therefore, we can root our feet until we get our way.
But, it may be time to let go of winning.
The world is made up of countless experiences that shape each of our perspectives; we are not the same nor do we all think the same. Rather than only seeing our own viewpoint, opt for asking questions and listening to what others have to say.
You may not agree with them, but that’s okay!
Allow your mind to open to other possibilities and/or reasons why they may feel or think the way that they do. Make your conversations about learning rather than winning.
2.Take Emotion Out of It.
Anger and ego can be the enemy in a loving relationship, so try to leave them to the side.
One way to do this is by taking emotion out of certain conversations. Keep to facts, the situation at hand, and healthy options in how to move forward together. This can help keep the conversation civil and conducive versus heated and spiteful.
The next time you feel your heartbeat starting to increase and your emotions beginning to build, take a few deep breaths, close your eyes, and tell yourself, “take the emotion of out it.”
3.Be Loving to Others AND to Yourself.
Relationships are a two-sided road. If you feel a relationship starting to wither, engage in conversation about what you are feeling and ask how the other person feels as well.
Communicate from your heart with honesty, respect, and compassion.
It’s your choice whether you want to end a relationship due to these difficult times, but keep in mind that this is just a blip on the radar and that sometimes relationships just need a break and that’s okay – it can actually be loving to both you and the other person. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing all of the time.
Relationships are a consistently dynamic aspect of life. People will come and go and some will stay with you forever, but all can play an important role in how you navigate the world.
If you live in Castle Rock, Castle Pines, Highlands Ranch, Lone Tree, Centennial, Parker, Larkspur, Monument, Colorado Springs, or the greater Denver metro area and would like to speak with someone about relationship issues, please call us at (303) 688-6698 or click here to schedule a complimentary 15 minute phone call with Dr. Graves.
It is okay to seek support in dealing with conflict. It may just be what is needed to let love and kindness flourish in your relationships.